Never really had love, had a lot of moments that didn’t last forever, now you in the corner trying to figure out..how to love… How to love…. Lil Wayne’s song just kind of speaks to me on so many levels. Every woman and man needs to know HOW TO LOVE, so am wondering who would teach me how to love.
Personally I just kind of learned through life. Let me tell you a little bit about me. I love me and I live for me. Yes it might sound selfish but it is what it is. I have come to appreciate everything about myself. I have come to understand that the only way I can allow others to even like me is for me to absolutely love myself. Why do you ask ? Let me count the ways…
I am a woman unconditionally, phenomenal as Maya Angelou would say. I am a mother waiting to be and a wife if God chooses. I am a daughter so proud of my parents, that when I think about myself and that I haven’t yet given back half of what they’ve brought me I cringe. I want to work towards it all. I am a sister, devout and I could do anything for my siblings. But most of all I am me, thanks to those people in my life who understand me and my imperfections.
I clearly understand that I shall never be perfect, but that perhaps I need to grow even more; there is always room for better. I am a friend who believes that the ‘ship’ must be nourished and it constantly evolves. If I am to compromise myself I make sure that I got my own back. And I am selfish enough to know that love for others means nothing if I don’t understand me.
I sometimes cheat on myself and love others more, but I quickly wake up; and remember that I can only be good enough for others if am great for me…I love me too much to cry over a man again, I love me too much to let a fight destroy a friendship…I love me too much to worry about what others think of me. I love me too much to let hurt pain and frustrations consume me. By forgiving and letting go, I do it not for the other person, but for myself that I may excel in more positive vibes and what some call good karma. I love me too much to carry the burden of other peoples faults and mistakes, but most importantly I love me too much to settle for something that is not love.
I heard it said, that you may be deceived in love, but will never be deceived by love, for with love all is possible. Love for my career, love for my passions, love for others but mostly importantly love for ME (the individual that I AM). Who will teach me how to love? I guess I have to love myself before I can love others.
I know that I may be free to love others and as my auntie says, love is the only thing that transcends…through time, through hardship and lasts forever. She’s a wise woman my auntie.
I Love therefore I AM
Nakedly yours truly
Nina Mayers (fully in love with herself)
